A little more than a year ago, I became a mother and never has my life become so small and large at the same time. I went out a little less and I focused quite a bit more on raising my son. I thought I had settled into my new routine until Covid-19 hit.
Since beginning to live a more socially distanced life, I thought my very small world would get even smaller. However, in this time of increased stillness, I’ve found an opportunity by beginning to question my deep-rooted beliefs as I watch an ever-increasing Covid-19 death count and social media exploding with racial injustice.
It was once said, “Never waste a crisis.” In this current crisis we find ourselves in, I find myself asking more questions than ever before. And what makes this time more challenging than previous times in my life is I could distract myself by going somewhere or creating tasks to keep myself busy. Now, I have to be still, look into my son’s eyes, and really think carefully about the important “stuff” life is really about.
The Covid-19 health crisis has forced me to ask questions about my purpose and if I’m the type of wife, mother, and friend I want to be. The Black Lives Matter Movement has inspired me to think that maybe change is possible. Maybe we’ve reached the tipping point as a nation that real change can start to take place.
In this moment of uncertainty, I find the questions comforting because I’m no longer plugging away in my day-to-day without a focus. I can make everyday count just a little more because I’m more contemplative than I’ve been in months.
In my life, the times when I’ve felt the most stuck or isolated are the exact times when the most growth is happening. I hope I will be strong and focused enough to not let the current crisis be a wasted moment in my life, rather I hope it will serve as inspiration on how to do better in the next chapter.