A little more than a year ago, I became a mother and never has my life become so small and large at the same time. I went out a little less and I focused quite a bit more on raising my son. I thought I had settled into my new routine until Covid-19 hit. 

Since beginning to live a more socially distanced life, I thought my very small world would get even smaller. However, in this time of increased stillness, I’ve found an opportunity by beginning to question my deep-rooted beliefs as I watch an ever-increasing Covid-19 death count and social media exploding with racial injustice.

It was once said, “Never waste a crisis.” In this current crisis we find ourselves in, I find myself asking more questions than ever before. And what makes this time more challenging than previous times in my life is I could distract myself by going somewhere or creating tasks to keep myself busy. Now, I have to be still, look into my son’s eyes, and really think carefully about the important “stuff” life is really about.

The Covid-19 health crisis has forced me to ask questions about my purpose and if I’m the type of wife, mother, and friend I want to be. The Black Lives Matter Movement has inspired me to think that maybe change is possible. Maybe we’ve reached the tipping point as a nation that real change can start to take place. 

In this moment of uncertainty, I find the questions comforting because I’m no longer plugging away in my day-to-day without a focus. I can make everyday count just a little more because I’m more contemplative than I’ve been in months. 

In my life, the times when I’ve felt the most stuck or isolated are the exact times when the most growth is happening. I hope I will be strong and focused enough to not let the current crisis be a wasted moment in my life, rather I hope it will serve as inspiration on how to do better in the next chapter.

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Showing up for Work: The Spectrum of Authenticity

Working with my feet on the desk

Lately, I’ve been curious about how people find themselves at work. It seems harder to let outside influences go as we jump into our days in a world that sometimes seems anything but normal. Many of us try to “be professional” as we sit at dining room tables that have become our home offices, attending Zoom calls while attempting to mute at the same moments our toddler screams and our dogs bark at the Amazon guy. The usual distractions used to be the smell of someone heating up last night’s fish in the community microwave or the coworker’s personal conversations over the cube wall, but now our distractions are intensely personal and not as easy to drown out.

As we work from home, making a clear distinction between our home and work lives is becoming harder. So the question becomes, “Do we try harder to force the separation or just let our coworkers and clients see a little more about who we are outside the office?” Although uncomfortable, my vote is for the latter. I also don’t think that we have to swing from one extreme to another, based on who we’re interacting with that day we can work within a spectrum of authenticity that is based on trust. 

Low Trust: Higher Walls

If we’re dealing with a client or coworker that we may be lower on the trust scale, we may choose to build some barriers between our home life and the life we project on our Zoom meetings. Some ways that we can create some “space” starts with how we’ve configured our digital meeting space. For example, if you’re working in your bedroom, you may want to consider using the Zoom background feature. This can give you a little more privacy while you’re doing video-conferencing. Also, you may want to invest in a noise-canceling headset.  A headset is a great way to filter external noises at your house, but it’s also a great way to prevent your little ones from overhearing heated business discussions.

Medium Trust: Test the Waters

Perhaps you’ve been working with your coworkers for a few years and you’re willing to test the waters maybe it might be time to let them in a little to your home life. The Covid pandemic has introduced a completely new element to our working lives and it’s natural to feel a little uncomfortable in this new environment. Although Dorie Clark’s article What to Do When You Don’t Feel Comfortable Being Yourself at Work was originally written for those that don’t feel comfortable in their current work environments, I think it can offer some great suggestions for those that are uncomfortable about working from home. Broadcasting our home lives can display some of our deepest vulnerabilities however, exposing these vulnerabilities can also open us up to deeper relationships. The key with those you’re starting to build relationships with is to start small and work from there.

High Trust: It’s Still Not a Face-to-Face Conversation

If you’re on a work call with a colleague or client you’ve been working with for years, still beware of the technology you’re using to communicate. If you are using a technology that is sponsored by your company, it could be automatically recorded. And if it is recorded, are you sure you want that conversation played back to you someday? Based on the relationship (colleague or client) you may choose to introduce your family members while on conference calls (especially if you’re interrupted), but you still want to make sure that each layer you reveal of your personal life is being matched by your colleague or client. 

Working from home presents an interesting social experiment. After years of working with people face-to-face, seeing how they live and interact with their families presents some challenges. Continuing to assess how we show up for work and the version of ourselves we display will continue to evolve. There are no easy answers but continuing to examine who we trust with which information will continue to be a factor in how we now reveal ourselves to those we live and work with.